so, i really needed a good laugh right about now, and lo and behold themorningnews came through. thanks themorningnews!
The Holy God having by a Long and Continual Series of Afflictive Dispensations in and by the Present War with the Heathen Natives of this Land, those Natives who by Wicked Devilry and Long Pointy Speares and Arrowes perforated our Devout and Hoary Bodies, who by simply Being Here have frightened us and forced us bleating into the Warm Embrasure of our Precious Livestock, 'gainst the better Judgments of our Wives and Scriptures, nay, but we digress O Lord, Our Holy God, who has brought to pass Ruined Crops and Terrifying Lightning and Astonishing Displays of Favoritism toward the Heathen Natives, who really, it's incredible, never miss when shooting forth their Deadly, Devil-Ridden Arrowes, yea!
now, back to being productive and stuff. really.
also, go yell at micah. just because you're getting married in a WEEK is no reason to slack SO bad on updating.